Ordinary sparkling moments

Christine‘s book was waiting for me at the post office today, an unexpected surprise since i had no hope to receive the book before some more weeks – damn the slow US-Canada post service – but there it was, handled to me as saying C’mon, take me home!

Well, the book is a beautiful piece that made my heart sing – I felt so happy to hold in my hands this precious work of her. As a loyal reader of Christine’s blog since years, I feel i’ve been virtually part of this book’s creation process. I’ve read through the ups and down, i’ve been there to share all the courage and guts that was put down to selfpublish this book – i know what it feels to try to keep up, to start and complete a personal creative project. I know about the excitement, the discipline it takes, and the rituals. I know one must show up to the page, face all the internal demons, and still, do it for one’s sake. It takes courage – tons of it – and I could more than often recognize myself in the struggles, feel the excitement, the hopes and fears of bringing such a work into the world.

As i skipped through the book tonight, words were floating out, almost shouting at me, words i most needed to hear today, as to confirm, in the silence of my kitchen, what my heart is most trying to tell me since weeks, months, years: stop loosing yourself emcee, do what you love most and stop loosing yourself.

I hear it but try to avoid it – and it comes back, it is always there – Stop loosing yourself emcee, do what you love most, you’re almost there.

The words are there, i hear them, read them, and then i’m up with a strong feeling of trust in myself and in my work, until the moment where this feeling is gone again, leaving all space for fears to rises up and make me forget Who i really am… Once lost, it can get so hard and painful to get back, that just this thought creates a new fear in itself… How did i get so lost? What if it happens again…

Christine’s book is one of a brilliant soul, one who’s got a heart wide open and a rare talent to express what we as creative beings most need to hear. I totally dig her way of sharing her life experiences in the most loving, wise, compassionate way.

Here tonight I feel like i’ve found in this book a good companion, one to remember me to keep listening to what my heart sings, even when the fear is there, as if it’s there only for me to learn to dance with.