3 times this week, no, 4 times i log-in to type something.
3 times, no, 4 times i ended login-out in less than 30 seconds.
I hope this time i can do it.
“Creative exploration will always result in mistakes, and if we fear those, we risk paralysis and a numb…”
Thats the best way i found to explain what is happening to me.
Fear of making mistakes.
So many things i would like to do, but i am so afraid to be dissapointed, to not do it right, to feel insecure, stressed out, so i just sit there, think about it, and
do nothing.
This resume the last 2 weeks… Quite painful and stressful. I wish i could be different, be willing to try many things, accept things that dont work out well, ERASE THE WORD MISTAKE from my dictionnary!
Mistakes are nothing else than exploration. Exploration result in wider knowledge (of the world and of ourself),
So, why bother with mistakes??
Are we (women especially) trapped in some forms of high standards that in fact are just keeping us away from our goals and true desires?
There are so many things that i would like to do, that i cant find myself deciding what i want to do with my life (go back to school, learn holistic medecine, learn yoga, teach yoga, be an illustrator, be a painter, design products, write books, …), but i am so afraid of not being good enough at all of these things that i dont dare to try them out.
The last weeks were about that. About trying to spend relaxing time, but i must say it, i thought i was driving nuts, until i realised what was driving me nuts.
It was’nt the fact that i did’nt had enough time, ideas, or energy, but it was more that i could’nt choose where to start, being too afraid of doing things wrong.
So now that i see a bit clearer in this fog wich is my life right now, where do i start?
write about it in my blog. (Save entry)