Young and wise

dreamer

I think never before i have been so aware of the fact that i am, like every other being, getting older. “Getting older” until now sounded to me like ‘grow up to become an adult’ – i guess it should have stopped there, once you are an adult. You grow up, and remain, an adult. No moving further, i should not get older. I should not reach the day where girls my age are getting pregnant and moving into family mode. My boyfriend should not get gray hairs, my mom should not retreat, my brother, this small thing i’ve seen from his day one on earth, should not become a dad!

And oh dear, it isn’t about responsibilities – i moved out at 18, and have handled everything by myself from this day. It is about changing, growing as a plant to a three, becoming a forest. Maybe it’s about control. About me not standing the idea that nature control my life and will, whatever i do, give all people i love gray hairs. I am fighting to stand eyes wide open to notice my now, taking mental pictures of everything and getting my stuff ready because sooner than later, i’ll find myself surrounded by old, but wise, friends.

5 comments

  1. Isn’t it nice though to have passed the young adult stage? I mean, in my early twenties, I was this un-assured person trying to find myself in vain ways. Now, I just appreciate more life as it is, and am grateful for what I have found. It’s kinda zen-y and it feels so much better. I like getting older! 🙂

  2. Yep. Happens to the best of us. 😉 It’s funny how for years, we think we’ll be immune to the aging process. Nothing rational there. Just some odd conviction that fades away as birthdays go by.

    As you can see, I still haven’t gotten over the shock yet. 😉

  3. It’s good to be aware that you get older. Some people are not aware of time at all and at the end of their life they get a shock. Then they realize that they postponed all their ideas and plans their whole life. They did not work on the realization of any of their dreams. They did not think of their mortality and that life (as we know it) has an end. So I am better doing if I am aware of my age. A quick calculation: I am 31 now, my life expectation will be 75 (I am a man)… 😉

    Btw, before I get gray hair, I will dye them blue or pink or something!

  4. When I was younger, I thought somehow that it was it, once you’re an adult, you know what you need to know and you remain the same, as if a person somehow became fixed because of years having passed. I guess that’s how we see our parents, as children (one reason why we try to raise The Kid differently, so he’s not as clueless!), as blocks of rock, as if they weren’t running to catch up to our own evolving, as if when we turned to them for guidance they had a hidden guide-to-life manual they referred to. They seemed all-knowing, and somehow to my young eyes, “complete”.

    Turns out I love being an adult, and I’m changing faster than ever and loving every minute of it! What do you know, experience is actually usefull and good! (any grey hair I had is in the shaved part of the mohawk, ha! I wish my hair had turned white at 17 like my mom — then it would have looked hot. Now… it’ll just look normal — ewww!)

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