Sorry for not writing since a while, but you know why.
I wont add much details to what happen lately, but last week was really hard. I went down and thought i would never get up. This week was much better, having the goal to find work really helped me to find my way. I also met many friends, the weather is really nice, and i try to go out as much as i can.
I try to keep my mind focused on the next steps, but often i find myself thinking of my “old” life, my house, my cats, my boyfriend, and all the things i had, often things i miss now. I try to keep these thoughts away but they are there. It feel really strange to be living all that. I dont try to understand anything anymore, i just try to do my best and do what i think i should be doing. Im always afraid that the pain will show up and take control over me, and drag me down again…
I hope the best is to come, i hope i will find work easily. One thing i know is that i am happy to be here.