ok, here i am. Haven’t wrote since really long. The truth is, its not that i have nothing to say, its more that there could be so much to write about that i feel overwhelmed just trying to figure out what to start with.
I am busy packing stuff, selecting what i bring with me, and this process is quite exausting. I wont bring all my stuff with me since i dont know how things will look in 3 months from now, and shipping everything would be a waste of money. So i have to select between all my things what i REALLY need with me.
I still would love so much to bring the cats with me… but i cant for now. I have to wait and maybe i take them with me later on. It still breaks my heart to do so. I have been through all this already before, when i left montreal to move to germany… and now, 4 years later, i have to leave again.
It is the right thing to do, i know. I am learning a lot about facing my fears, and feeling my pain as it needs to be felt. It is quite a lessons about letting things go and not trying to control, but just being flexible and flowing. Im not sure i am so good at that… but strangely, it is to resist that makes everything painful… I hope everything will be alright.