I don’t have time. no time to write. I am too busy, putting my face in my cats hair, getting all love i can get from them before i leave. Busy taking care of my boyfriend, trying to spend as much time as i can with him before friday. Busy trying to forget that i have to leave, busy trying to not forget anything, busy trying to stay calm but in fact i just cant stay calm, this is not me.
4 days ago i still didn’t knew that i would leave, my head still have to get used to it. More than 2 weeks away from my daily life, away from the balance i found in the last 5 months. I didn’t plan anything, but now its there. I hav’nt work from 9 to 5 for the last 5 months, but i need to rest. No, i didn’t “worked” that much, but my body needs to rest.
Many things happened in those 5 months. I left my “old” life. I slowly got back on my feet, started the best (but not the simpler) work that i ever did, what we could call “a life’s real work”. Yeah, the “real” work. The one which makes your brain and heart goes on, trying to find answers to many questions.
I quitted the fulltime job, started to draw again, started to read lots of “self exploration” stuff, wrote a lot, thought a lot, started to paint again, started to be creative again, in my work and in my life. I stopped and looked at myself. This is not easy work, but the one which fulfills oneself.
In the last 5 months, i found something new, or better, i found someone i missed.
I hope i wont loose touch with this person as i will leave hamburg friday…