About life transitions…

As i was reading “the career guide for creative and unconventional people” (actually i was more stepping from one section to the other), I found out something i would have like to read last january when i found myself in a existential crisis.. (once more..)

This something is called “the neutral zone” or no man’s land where i found myself looking back at my life and wondering what the hell will i do, how the hell will this end… All this with at the same time anxiety and confusion, but also such a strong feeling of total freedom and confidence in life. You dont see one step in front of you, but you must go on… you must trust…

All of this time thinking and re-thinking about who i am, where do i come from, what do i really want, who am I “really”… thinking about all the “rest” of the world, working from 9 to 5, going home for the weekend, and me, not following those rules… But i was not “the bad girl” i thought i was, i know it now!

So, for those who are going thru the same kind of experience, and i know that a lot of people are going into it, there are some tips that would have helped me in my transition:

Tips for Life Transitions

1. Get a temporary structure in place.

A temporary structure is something that supports you while you are changing. It could be a place to live, temporary work, an interim job. Get it into place as soon as possible, so that you can at least relax about that part of your life while you are figuring out what you are going to do with the rest of it.

2. Anticipate discomfort.

Change is inevitable. Changes are easier to manage with realistic expectations, so try to forget the cultural myth that you are supposed to feel happy all the time and expect to be uncomfortable part of the time.

3. Find what continuity you can.

Even though many things are changing, some others remain the same. It might be helpful to deliberately seek out and practice the elements of continuity in your life. This might be as simple as following your old exercise program, reading the paper in the same place you did before, or making time for old friends.

4. Talk or write about what you are going through.

Ideas that you keep in your head just don’t seem to have the power of the ideas you express. This is a good time to talk to a counselor or confidante, or write in a journal. It can be helpful to look at the advantages and disadvantages of the role or relationship you lost; it can also be helpful to consciously think about what you have learned.’

5. Be patient with the process and with yourself.

Transitions are not efficient. They are not under our conscious control–they can’t be forced to follow a timetable or a predetermined direction. Try to be patient with yourself and with the process of change. These days it helps me to think that I am tending my garden daily, and that under the ground new plants are germinating, even though I may not yet be able to see them.

Read more under http://www.creativecareers.com/_private/fr_support.htm

I also strongly recommend the book!